Insomnia

Awhile since the last time updated? Yes, but it's for a reason. I've been busy. Life, traveling, yes I've now seen parts of the world, opened my eyes, got my nose pierced, had fun. In fact I'm awake now because I finished a book I discovered while I was in Europe. A woman named Georgette Heyer. Wonderful author. Similar to Jane Austen but wrote in the early to mid 1900s. So now I'm simply basking in the ending of a fantabulously good book. It's called "These Old Shades." It's romance, so shoot me, a girl needs some vice. But its not a romance with any lemony bits, I'm not into that type of book, it's purely clean which suits me just fine. I hate how lemon bits are put in all books now. It doesn't matter whether it is a mystery or fiction or romance it all has sex because it sells. Makes me mad, I don't need it and refuse to read it. Anyway, so I found Heyer, and since she wrote earlier it's not in there. Makes me happy. But yes, I'll admit my vice is the romance books. I'm a pitiful female. But hey, I hate to shop, hate ice tea, and can't stand salads (also don't cry that much...but since God is deciding that brokenness is something I need I can't claim that one as easily now) so I need something to prove I'm female. Anyway, I finished the book and am happy that everything ended ok but sad that its over. However I got birthday money (yes I turned the big 2-0 a few days ago...ok 22 days ago) and so I had some money to burn, and ebay is now my friend. :o) I fought to the death to get a lot of 15 books for $2.50 a piece including shipping and insurance. It was marvelous.

School starts in 11 days, I'm so sad. I want to see my professor again, but have no desire to work. I'm also commuting this year, not fun. Plus work...so that will make life interesting this semester. But only 3 to go till I have my degree. Rather scary when I think about it. I have no CLUE what the school is thinking in giving me that piece of paper. I don't know ANYTHING. then again, isn't that what Socrates says is the sign of a wise man? When someone admits to knowing nothing? Honestly the thought of going into the world scares me to death. Can't I remain a child forever and mooch off my parents and read books all the time. But I suppose that would be wrong. My parents have reared me for 20 years and need a break soon. Did you ever read that short story about a girl on her birthday saying people are like onions, and sometimes we peel off layers and feel 5 at heart...that's me right now. I feel 5 and want my daddy to kiss my forehead and peep into the closet and scare away the monsters. But I'm not 5 but 20 and no amount of looking into a closet will fight away growing older and needing to pay bills and earn a living. I need to get over my perpetual laziness. Ever have those days when you just need a hug? Not just any hug, but one from someone who will make you feel protected and loved...cherished? I do. I need one now.